From Dora

Dear Mo,

When we first met, neither of us was in a good place on the TTC front. We bonded over tasteless jokes and tequila. Now look at us!

I love what everyone else has written. You’ll hear “sleep when the baby sleeps” a lot. It’s really hard to do. There will be so many things calling for your attention whenever Miss Magpie is sleeping. Let it go. Getting as much sleep as possible needs to be a priority. I can imagine you rolling your eyes at all the advice to enjoy the moments, because it goes so fast. Well, of course you will, you’ve waited so very, very long. But St. Elsewhere is right. “Prepare to be shocked.” Newborns are overwhelming in a way that nothing can prepare you for. Slow down when you can and notice the details. Her content little sighs, her delicious tiny toes, sweet milk breath, etc. Let these little things be the salve that helps heal the wounds of this journey.

When Sunshine was a newborn, I loved this gadget for keeping track of diaper changes, feedings, and sleep. But of course, there’s an app for that. It really helps to keep track of everything those first few months. Frees up brain cells for other things.

Now for my possibly controversial advice. Don’t make yourself miserable with breastfeeding. I hope it goes smoothly for you. I know you want to do your very best for Magpie, but if you’re miserable, it’s not good for her or you. Yes, breast milk is best, but I’ve seen no evidence to show that supplementing with formula negates any benefits from breastfeeding. And, as opposed to positive thinking while TTC, your emotions will affect your supply. In our case, Sunshine was the hungriest the time of day my supply was the lowest. After nursing her for what felt like forever, an ounce or two of formula would fill her belly and she’d go to sleep. I also had a lot of trouble pumping at work, so stopped after two months. My supply adjusted to this. I was able to nurse when we were together, and she had formula when I was at work. I think combo feeding was the key to breastfeeding Sunshine for a little over a year.

I do hope you’ll accept your boss’s offer of an extra month of leave. Three months is when it starts to get a little easier, and babies become more fun. And I totally agree with Danielle. It’s not easy, but get out of the apartment. I think it’s easier as a city mom. No fussing with car seats and parking. Keep the diaper bag stocked. Just strap her on, grab the bag, and go. Don’t worry about germs and your unvaccinated newborn. If you’ve got her in the moby or some other carrier, no one can get their face close enough to hers to breathe on her. Old folks will be quick to tell you that you shouldn’t take her out when she’s so little. Just tell them you’re a doctor (they don’t need to know it’s Ph.D., not M.D.), and that you know what’s best for your daughter. YOUR DAUGHTER! You’re meeting your daughter soon!

Magpie is such a lucky girl! I can’t wait to meet her. But even more, I can’t wait to see you holding her. Tears here just thinking about it.

Wishing you a quick and easy delivery, and a champion latch for Magpie. Much love to you, Will, and your little Magpie.

xo,

Dora